we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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