You made me cry and you don't even care
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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