there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
