I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
