Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
