Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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