Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
