hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
