Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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