Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
