ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
