this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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