but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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