I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
