OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
