I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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