im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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