Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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