He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Randomize
