6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
