Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I cut my penus on the lid.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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