i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
