I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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