how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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