My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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