Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
