take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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