So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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