I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
