i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
