I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Randomize
