My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
