ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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