u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
