she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
