I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
