I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Four minutes until I can fart!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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