I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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