So gin and wine won't be happening again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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