so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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