I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
