we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
