how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
