I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
