so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
