some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
