Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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