The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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