I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
