Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
