i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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