I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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